Image courtesy of petrr
You have suffered the bitter irony of being one of the most naturally gifted martial arts students in the world and have been denied superhero status for too long. You are ready and you know that the sooner you can run through the streets combating crime, outfoxing the local slow witted law enforcement the better – for you and for humanity.
Somewhere right now an evil plan that will bring humanity’s ultimate demise is being hatched. Humanity needs you and your cool costume and catchy superhero name.
Essentially getting up out of your chair is dramatic and would make the most advanced ninja warrior quake with fear and think better than going one-on-one with you. However, you may not have the fortune of a rather large country to fall back on and develop yourself further in a Bruce Wayne / Tony Stark fashion.
There must surely be some way to awaken your unique superpowers, without all the messing around with radiation and genetic modification as favoured by the old school Marvel characters? You want the ease of superpowers without all the unnecessary mucking about and unintended side effects? Luckily there is such a way to realise your potential.
Think very carefully, you hold your life in your hands and a miscalculation here could have infinite repercussions – the right choice is crucial. Get one plant for your desk and prepare for the heroic change in your lifestyle. That is correct… a plant.
Admittedly, this may seem like an anticlimax in terms of what you may have been expecting, but go with it – secretly and subconsciously you know that there is something that has been missing from your desk. The addition of a plant is going to improve you and your life in ways you could not imagine. To be a superhero, you need to think like a superhero and for this you need superhero brain powers.
Research suggests that fatigue, stress and common health complaints can be reduced by adding a potted plant to your desk space. Not only will a bit of foliage help improve the view of your desk, you can expect a boost in your creativity & productivity, heightened awareness and increased cognitive functions. Already you can appreciate just how your superpowers will grow, but wait, there is more.
Studies have even suggested that a single desk plant filter pollutants, improving the quality of indoor air, giving out your own fresh and pure source of air. A super brain needs its own supply of super pure air after all.
Think of the desk plant as your super side kick, with it ever-present, it is watching out for you, giving you what you need to truly excel and will be the first to alert to you any real dangers.
If you notice your plant friend is not doing well, this is clearly a warning that your arch nemesis has implemented an evil scheme to vanquish you, and without your mighty plant you are vulnerable.
Go forth and be the hero you were truly meant to be, both at your desk and in the streets, and heed my closing words with caution – if one desk plant helps you reach your super heroic greatness, what then about your colleague who has a mini jungle on their desk?
When not making incidental intergalactic travel, Mark stops long enough to pen mini encyclopaedic manuals on the upkeep and management of plants, his last piece was titled ‘When you are tired of watering your plant, you are tired of life’. He recommends office plant specialists Ambius.