Yay, Santa brought you a onesie! This is good news because no longer do you have to worry about that gap between your trousers and top. A conundrum that has been bothering mankind since prehistoric man shed his fur and popped on a pair of corduroys and a fetching shirt. However, there are some unspoken regulations that say when and where a onesie can and can’t be worn. Avoid the status of social leper in a baby-grow with this easy to follow guide to onesie wearing.
If you’ve seen someone in a onesie in the supermarket you should already know the answer to this. No. You can’t wear a onesie to the supermarket. Even if it’s local and you’re just getting milk. Or worse filling up the car. It’s like wearing slippers outside, it’s just not done. Come on! Have some self-respect.
You’re joking right? Unless you’re a onesie salesperson this is totally unacceptable! Or maybe if you work from home you can get away with it, but even then. The onesie is a comfort item and wearing it creates a sensation of relaxation, which will lead to a take it easy attitude. This isn’t cool for your professional life.
Celebrities it seems, love a onesie. Though outside of onesie promotional material and twitpics snapped at home they refrain from the luxury of the one-piece. You should too.
As a rule wearing your onesie in the vicinity of your own home is fine. But don’t step outside the borders. As you step from your drive to the pavement while putting out bins or collecting the Sunday paper you’re violating those unspoken rules previously mentioned. Also avoid gardening in it too.
It’s your house of course you can wear your onesie! Why wouldn’t you? Nope no reasons… well, apart from the following. If it is the only thing you have worn for an entire day that is unacceptable. The only caveat to this is severe man-flu or other debilitating illness. Otherwise it’s a no-no. Spending an entire day in a onesie is only a step away from a day in a bed. Not cool!
Also you can’t really wear it if your entertaining, however informal. Your guests will think less of you. Fact. Also avoid cooking in it if possible, or at the very least wear an apron. A grease stained onesie is not pleasant, nobody wants to see that.
So, when is it safe to wear a onesie? Yes, when you’re alone an in your own home. Aside from that, be very careful. Before you know it you’ll be that person that finds getting dressed a bit of an effort…
David Moore is an alternative sleepwear fan, which is why we trust him to look after the Find Me A Gift selection of onesies… It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.